Interpersonal relationships are an important facet of human existence. They are among the things that allow you to survive and thrive. But there is also a need to be intimate with another human being. It is a need to share the love with them, to be loved in return, and to be validated. You might have experienced romantic relationships in the past, and you realize that finding the one can be a tough job.
The difficulty is much more apparent among people who actually have not had romantic relationships since birth. At times, you may feel that there is no hope. But maybe you are looking in the wrong places, or you are not fine-tuning your search parameters. This just says that there is still hope. You just have to work harder on it.
You have your own motivation for finding the right one. Use it properly. When you fail, you surely have a tendency to feel fear, anxiety, and frustration—at times, you may feel everything at once. But do not lose hope. There are some ways you can actually increase your odds for finding the person you will love and who will love you in return.
Know your motivation
As mentioned, you have your own motivation. But are you actually clear with it? Your motivations will set the tone of your search. They will actually help you determine what type of partner you should be looking for. Are you looking for someone who understands you and the busy lifestyle you are leading? Are you looking for someone to support you financially? Gauge your motivations and compare them against your choices and options. More importantly, be honest with yourself when you ask yourself these things.
Be specific with your search parameters
Now that you already know your motivations, you get some ideas on the characteristics and traits that you are looking for. But do not just look for all those characteristics in one person—one person does not have everything. You have to pick the parameters to use based on your goals and motivations. This is not to say that you should be picky. Make your standards balanced so that you will be able to attract people who actually have the traits you are looking for. But before letting yourself out, be clear with all your non-negotiables and the things that you are willing to accept.
Sometimes, all you need is a little help from trusty friends. Your family and friends may be setting you up for a date. Don’t say no. You ought to try it out. But if you want to increase your chances of actually landing a suitable date and potential partner, it does not hurt to work with a professional matchmaker.
Finding that person who will love you with all their heart can be a tough job at the beginning. You will need to make some necessary adjustments to increase your odds. But do not be too fixated on your losses. The most important thing that you should do is to love yourself properly first.